Over on Mastodon, I've been reviewing Festive Sandwiches, something very close to my heart. I've collated all the results here, in order of best to worst:
My own homemade Christmas Sandwich
Roast Turkey, Pigs in Blankets, Pork and Cranberry Stuffing, Braised Apple and Red Cabbage, bread sauce, mayo and cranberry sauce on hovis granary bread. All made a few hours after Christmas dinner, with the Turkey still warm.
Bread was a bit on the floppy side (needed a nice thick white farmhouse loaf slice), but otherwise this was perfect 👌
“The Cheesemas” burger at The Part and Parcel, Witney
Beef Patty, Crispy fried breaded Camembert, Smoked Bacon, Rocket, Cranberry Ketchup in a sesame brioche bun.
The Part and Parcel is our favourite local pub here in Witney, and they always do a good burger. This festive version was absolutely bloody delicious. And yes this definitely counts as a festive sandwich! The Camembert was crispy but oozed its creamy goodness all over the burger. Combined with the cranberry ketchup it was 👌 BEHOLD!!
Sandwich De Witney Christmas Special
Sliced Turkey, Stuffing, Bacon, Mayo and Cranberry Sauce in a freshly baked white baguette
Now we're talking! Our local baguette shop with the chucklesome name comes up trumps. Proper thick slices of Turkey, plenty of stuffing and the perfect balance of mayo and cranberry. So close to a homemade sandwich - the only reason it didn't get the full five stars is that the bacon is in small cubes and very, very, very salty.
Marks & Spencer Naughty and Spice Turkey Feast
Piri Piri marinated sliced turkey, spiced pork stuffing, red cabbage slaw, cranberry and chilli sauce with seasoned mayo on a brioche roll
5% goes to shelter!
I'm quite torn on this one. On the one hand, it doesn't taste traditionally festive. The overriding flavour is peri peri, mayo and slaw - the stuffing and cranberry is a bit hidden. But it's also the tastiest pre-made shop sandwich I've ever had ☺️
M&S Festive Christmas Club*
Chicken, Bacon, mayo, cranberry chutney, picked red cabbage, cranberry stuffing on toasted oatmeal bread
The ‘toasted oatmeal bread’ made it feel stale and taste worthy. Especially with three slices of it (with it being a club sandwich). Red Cabbage tasty and crunchy, but the Cranberry was too dominant again. Swap the cranberry stuffing for chestnut, and bread for granary + it’s a winner. Generously filled too!
*5% goes to Shelter!
Waitrose Turkey, Stuffing and Bacon
Turkey, pork and chestnut stuffing. turkey stock mayo, cranberry and redcurrant chutney and smoked bacon on malted bread
Waitrose have done the best job of dialling back the cranberry so far, although I'd call it more tart than sweet. Generally pretty good, just needs to be a bit more generously filled.
Co-op Boxing Day Feast
Smoked ham & turkey, red cabbage coleslaw, and Christmas spiced chutney on soft white bread
Actually not that bad! Red cabbage coleslaw adds a nice little crunch, and spiced chutney a slight festive air. Suffers from the usual pre-made sandwich drawback - the quantity of filling would leave a Borrower feeling hungry.
Waitrose Pigs under Blankets
Pork sausage, cranberry and redcurrant chutney, Smoked Bacon and Mayo on malted bread
Seeing as the sausages are the main feature, I'd hoped for more of a herby and/or peppery flavour. Also, same tart chutney as yesterdays offering from Waitrose. Lack of stuffing makes it less festive. Maybe I'm also finally getting bored of 'pork products'? Never thought I'd see the day.
Starbucks Festive Feast Panini
Sliced turkey breast, Beechwood Smoked Bacon, Turkey Gravy, Sage & Onion Stuffing And Cranberry Sauce On A Ciabatta Panini
This could've been a 3 star, but like most pre-made sandwiches, there was barely anything in it. I could taste the stuffing and gravy, but the cranberry was non-existent. A desolately vacant hot panini.
The Tesco Turkey Triptych™ (TTT™) all feature similar ingredients, so I'm going to put them all in a thread…
The Tesco Turkey Triptych™: Part 1 - Turkey Trimmings Wrap
Turkey Breast, mayo, sage and onion stuffing, cranberry sauce, spinach and smoked bacon
The promise of a wrap is that it beats the doughiness of the sub roll, but in practice it's many over wrapped layers of dense tortilla with bugger all in-between. They say ‘trimmings’ to indicate that it was very small scraps of turkey, purreed into one mayo-y glob. Couldn’t taste the stuffing.
The Tesco Turkey Triptych™ (TTT™): Part 2 - Turkey & Trimmings Sandwich
Turkey Breast, mayo, sausage, sage and onion stuffing, cranberry sauce, spinach and sweetcure bacon
It’s that ‘Malted Bread’ business again, BUT a sandwich with both Turkey slices and Pigs in Blankets! The sausage was bland and oddly dry, like it removed all saliva from my mouth.
Cranberry was there, but not overpowering. That was the only win. Couldn’t taste the stuffing.
The Tesco Turkey Triptych™: Part 3 - Turkey Stuffing an Cranberry Sub
Turkey Breast and thigh, mayo, sage and onion stuffing, cranberry sauce and smoked bacon
No malted madness here! I expected it to be too doughy, but it was nice soft fluffy bread. Could taste the onion in the stuffing, but like the wrap, the mayo to turkey ratio was too high.
Despite the bread win, it was all just a bit shit.
Subway Festive Sub
Thin Turkey slices, Smoked Bacon, Hash Browns
Hash Browns. I ask you. I pretended the onionyness was bread sauce which helped. I noticed they sold pigs in blankets as a side, was tempted to buy that and shove it in, but without cranberry sauce I didn't see the point. "Do you want cheese and toasted"? - yep, may as well continue on the non-festive path. It was an OK sandwich - just made by someone who hates Christmas.
Greggs Roast Chicken and Stuffing Baguette
Chicken breast slices with sage and onion stuffing and 'rich' chicken gravy
Let's deal with filling first. The gravy comes as a jellified layer, which wasn't as bad as it sounds, but the lack of cranberry means no festivities here. Definitely tasted of Sunday lunch, rather than Christmas Day. Worst part is that the baguette comes heated up, which makes the ends harder than left-out Weetabix.
M&S Roast Chicken & Christmas Slaw*
Chicken Mayo, Pickled Carrot and Red Cabbage with Spinach on Malted Bread
More Boxing Day than Christmas Day. Fairly crunchy slaw, but (and this might sound a bit obvious for a shop sandwich) rather bland.
*5% goes to Shelter!
Co-op ‘Turkey Feast’
Smoked bacon, pork sage & onion stuffing, cranberry Chutney & fried onion mayo on malted bread
Cranberry sauce and fairground style onions were the overriding flavours, but at least the turkey wasn’t as thin as I expected.
So there we are for this year.